Lost

To change, to plunge – in abyss unknown

Running from past, present and some

Questing for tools to improve foreground sight

Even with direction – it might as well be night

I know what’s behind – otherwise why would I run

Wish things were different; less sadness, more fun

But alas finding solace was just not my fate

And waiting and waiting will just produce more weight

Why is my life a constant flux of change?

Why does finding self sometimes feel strange?

Why can’t my acceptance come hand-in-hand

With a certain someone as my mind clearly planned?

My heart is now broken – scattered amongst the many trees

Carried by the river, the wind and the bees

Although I run past – I just can’t collect

Which fills me with sorrow, despair and regret

I hate this dam jungle! The cause of disease

Air thick and suffocating – hope hinging on breeze

But the more that I run – the more knowledge I gain

Instead of relief – I’m faced with more pain

Now faced with a choice – leave the jungle all together

Search for greener pastures, smiling faces, better weather?

But you know the grass is always greener on the other side,

So am I giving up good for what only dreams provide?

Or am I facing facts – accepting it’s just not for me

The more that I fight it the less I feel free

The fear of unknown may be better than here

My jungle is sadness, and sadness should fear!

I should trust my Navigator, Creator and Guide

That His plans for me – my best interests reside

I still have potential – dreams to fulfill

Maybe that why He gave us free will

Whatever I decide – my entire life will be change

Accept jungle life or seek different terrain?

Oh God, oh please God, please should me the light

No matter what outcome, I pray that it’s right