Every year for Ramadan I try to add something positive to my life, in the hopes of making the act a habit. In the past I have added additional prayers, readings and good deeds. However this year, I’m at a total loss for what I want to do. As Ramadan is already 1 week in, I need to think fast. (I heard you only need 21 days to make a habit, and as of today I have exactly 21 days left.)
Before the month started, I considered adding additional readings to my to-do list. However, I usually don’t have time to read the things already on my list, so adding something more just caused me stress. Then, I thought of doing more prayers. However, I’m still working to fully embrace the additional prayers I already do (and want to work on drawing complete fulfillment from them first before adding any more). So last night, I decided to try meditation.
Ever since I lived in NY, my body has yearned for serenity of body, mind and soul (in Arabic ‘saqina’, which according to Wikipedia means peace, serenity and tranquility). I figured if I moved to a new country, one that would be theoretically less stressful, this serenity would come naturally. However, I quickly realized that the more time I have, the more my head filled with thoughts and worries. I am thankful for the ability to think, it’s a true gift from God, but sometimes I just want to shut off the noise in my head. No, I am not a schizophrenic (I don’t have other people talking to me), but I do have my inner self talking to my all the time. Usually the message is negative (‘what if xy happens’, ‘why do you feel this or that way’, ‘why do you look this or that way’, ‘why didn’t I do x’ or ‘why did I do y’… the list goes on and on). I honestly think I’m my own worst enemy sometimes. Negativity feeds negativity.
I’m optimistic that meditation is the best solution. For one, I’m hoping it will teach me to block negative thoughts. As these thoughts are in my head, they theoretically come from my subconscious. By learning how to silence them (I hope), with a bit of luck I can learn how to critically analyze them; eventually changing their message – my message to myself. Secondly, if I can silence my inner voice from time to time, I can truly relax – something that I honestly think I have never experienced. I can lay down to sleep in complete silence – no running message going over the things I accomplished, need to accomplish, need to plan, etc.
Now this meditation will have an Islamic core. Instead of trying to clear my mind of all thoughts, I plan to focus my mind only on God; and clear away all else. I can start small; focusing on the Oneness of Him. Then move to His blessings, and ultimately the wonders of His creation. Many Muslims don’t realize that meditation is Sunnah (an activity undertaken by the Prophet). My belief is that through meditation, one’s soul can be cleared from this world and transcended to something higher. I really hope this will take me on entirely new journey – a journey within.
